well
Reading through four years of blog archives (I’ve managed to get throught 2001-2005) has made me realize at least one thing: I like myself a whole lot better these days.
I don’t know how I didn’t see how angry and sad I was, and I have no idea how I deluded myself into thinking I was happy.
I had definite rage problems, I drank too much, I isolated myself to the point of near agoraphobia, I was filled with anxiety, meds that didn’t work, bitterness and regret. What I can’t understand is why no one ever took me aside and said “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Or maybe they did and I didn’t listen.
Those were harrowing years. I feel the need to apologize to people. My children, mostly.
I hit rock bottom in late 2005. I wish I knew then, especially in that one moment when I pretty much lost all hope of ever being happy, that 2006 would change everything.
It’s never too late to turn things around or get it right. And sometimes it’s good to look back, because it keeps you from taking for granted what you have now.
And that’s way too much for a warm Sunday morning.
Back to animated chickens and musical dedications.
2006 *was* a good year, wasn’t it?
I turned 30 in September 2005. It was a shit birthday for many reasons. The rest of that year wasn’t very nice, either. 2006 started in the toilet and ended in a dream. A dream I haven’t woken up from.
You’ll never hear me complain about birthdays or getting older. I wouldn’t go backwards for anything.
2006 was also a great year for me. It was the year I moved to Denmark from Iceland, started school there and met the most awesome people I’ll hopefully keep in touch with for the rest of my life. So here is to the year 2006.
